I think I was in university when my grandmother bought me my hanten.
It was after one of her hospital visits.
On our way home, she stopped by a small futon shop and said,
“Let me buy you something.”
That was where I found the hanten.
It felt just like a futon.
Soft, light, padded with cotton.
Almost like wrapping a blanket around yourself and wearing it.
Come to think of it, both my grandmother and grandfather used to wear hanten every winter.
They would sit under the kotatsu, drink tea, watch television — and I would sit there between them.
Whenever I see a hanten, I think of scenes like that.
When you wear one, your body becomes a little rounder somehow.
I used to love rubbing my grandmother’s rounded back or hugging her tightly from behind.
The moment I see a hanten, I can remember not only the atmosphere of that room, but even the feeling of my grandparents’ backs beneath my hands.
But back then, I was also at an age when I cared deeply about appearances.
My clothes and makeup were always carefully done.
I wore trendy outfits and was constantly trying to look more grown-up than I really was.
So honestly, a traditional hanten from an old-fashioned futon shop probably wasn’t the kind of thing most people my age would have been excited about.
To tell the truth, my first thought was probably,
“There’s nothing in a place this old-fashioned that I’d want.”
But I never showed that reaction in front of my grandmother.
I loved seeing the happy look on her face when she saw me enjoying something.
And whenever I was with her, I somehow returned to a more childlike version of myself.
So yes, maybe part of me felt that way at first.
But as I looked around the shop, I slowly started feeling genuinely excited and happy.
Back then, I don’t think phrases like “slow living” or “mindful living” even existed in my world yet.
I couldn’t recognize it at the time, and it took me a very long time to understand it, but I think even then, I already loved the feeling of bringing old-fashioned calmness into everyday life.
The hanten I chose had a red fabric covered in tiny floral patterns.
It looked like something a character from a Studio Ghibli film would wear inside their home during winter.
I think it was still a warm season when I bought it.
Even so, I remember feeling impatient for winter to arrive so I could finally wear it.
I still vaguely remember the shop owner handing me the large bag with the hanten folded inside.
And after my grandmother’s hospital appointments, we always had one small tradition.
We would stop by a soba restaurant near the station.
It had a beautiful noren curtain hanging at the entrance.
I always ordered tempura soba.
Normally I would have worried about the price, but my grandmother seemed happiest when she saw me enjoying the things I truly wanted to eat.
So I let myself be spoiled a little and always chose whatever felt right in the moment.
I loved shrimp, so I always picked the tempura soba with the large shrimp inside.
My grandmother could be quite particular about restaurant food, but she always said the broth at that place was especially good.
She bought two hanten that day — one for me and one for my older sister.
Honestly, I didn’t think my sister would be very interested in hers.
But I never said that out loud.
Much later, after Moriyan and I started living together, I went back to my parents’ house one day.
My mother opened the closet and said,
“Do you want to take that hanten with you?”
I had completely forgotten about it.
But the moment I saw it again, I instantly fell in love with it all over again.
“I’m taking it home!”
I answered almost immediately.
Apparently my sister never really wore hers, so my mother told me,
“You can take your sister’s too.”
I was much more attached to the bright red floral one I had chosen for myself.
The checkered dark-red hanten that belonged to my sister didn’t feel quite as special to me.
Still, I thought it might be nice if Moriyan and I could wear them together, so I brought both home.
…Although, to be honest, Moriyan doesn’t wear hanten very often.
He doesn’t really like bulky clothing.
So the only time he wears one is usually during Sushi Couple filming.
“Because it feels very Japanese. And very Sushi Couple.”
That’s his reason. haha
I’ve stained the sleeves of my hanten several times over the years.
People have told me since I was little that I’m a bit careless, and honestly, I agree.
The large sleeves of a hanten and things like eating or washing dishes are not a very good combination.
Before I notice it, the sleeves are wet or brushed against something.
Whenever that happens, I gently wash the fabric with warm water and hang it to dry.
Thankfully, the stains have never stayed.
Last year, I took my hanten to the dry cleaners.
Deep down, I had always worried that I wasn’t storing it properly once winter ended.
So when I discovered a cleaning service that would store it safely until the next winter season, I felt strangely relieved.
It felt like I was finally taking proper care of it.
I wanted to do the same thing again this year, but Moriyan said it was “a little expensive,” so I haven’t taken it in yet.
Maybe I’ll lay it out in the sunlight sometimes instead.
Like a futon.
And while thinking those thoughts, I wore my hanten again this winter too, Grandma.
There’s still a hanten in my life.
Whenever I wear it, I feel like a slow and peaceful way of living suits me best.
A hanten somehow doesn’t match a life spent rushing, worrying about what other people think, or constantly feeling small.
When I spend time wearing my hanten, I think,
“Ah… I’m living at my own pace again.”
Like proof that I’m living gently, comfortably, and honestly as myself.
Wearing a hanten always reminds me to slow down and return to my own pace.If you were curious about the one I wear,
you can find a similar style here.
→ Suzu’s Hanten (similar style)
https://amzn.to/4nnh5TM